Remember Jacob's Smile...

Posted November 10, 2009

My name is Gail and I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be writing this story. No parent ever wants to write about their child's death. I pray every day that no other parent ever has to write a story about the death of their- child.

On May 18,2008 the Henry family celebrated the graduation of their son, Jacob Albert Henry, age 18. We had a big party at our home with all the aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.
Aunt Linda made dishes from the Philippines and other American food was provided. A good friend of Aunt Carol's made the cakes. Everything was delicious. There was fun for everyone.
Jacob was grateful for the gifts of money he received. The money was needed for expenses when he went to college in June 2008.

Jacob made friends easily. His grandma always said that Jacob never met a stranger. He was kind to everyone and loved family, friends, our dogs (Dusty, Xerox, Jazz) football, video games, music (Saxophones), Civil War History and Indian Lore. Jacob moved to Evansville the end of May to live with his Grandma. He planned to attend college at Madison Media Institute (MMI) in Madison, Wisconsin. I never saw Jacob as excited as he was about starting school at MMI. He started classes at MMI on June 2, 2008. He enjoyed school and was well liked by his classmates, the staff and teachers. Jacob made many good friends during his short time at MMI. He really enjoyed his classes.

I received phone calls most everyday telling me what he had done in his classes that day. The phone call I remember the most is the day he called and was so excited he almost reached through the telephone wires, In one of his classes, Jacob had the opportunity to play a vintage bass saxophone brought in by Mr. Hanah, his instructor. Jacob loved his saxophones. He had played all the different saxophones in high school, except the Bass. Playing that Bass Sax was a dream come true for him. After Jacob's death I talked to his high school band teacher. She told me that Jacob had asked her many times if the school could get a Bass Sax, She told him no because that they were very expensive and there wouldn't be a Bass Sax at school. Jacob told me that he played the Bass and he was so nervous he was hardly able to play. He talked for a long time about how he was chosen to play the Bass. He also told me the Bass Sax he played was only one of ten in the U.S.A. That moment was very special to him.

He was having trouble with some of his classes so he was signed up to work with a tutor. He went to his first class and that afternoon he called me like most days and told me that the things he was having trouble with were clear to him now. He was excited about going back the following week but he never returned to that tutoring class. We were in the process of moving from Northern Wisconsin, where Jacob grew up, to Evansville, Wisconsin. We would be closer to Jacob and we planned to bring some more things down that weekend. Jacob's dad worked in Illinois so he just drove up to Evansville that Friday night. I would travel down from our home on Saturday.

When my husband arrived at the house on Friday night, Jacob wasn't home which wasn't too shocking because he spent a lot of time at the pool with his friends. Jacob never came home Friday night. We were all worried and shocked at the same time. It wasn't like Jacob not to call whenever he was gone for a long time he would call. I called his cell phone many times on Saturday without an answer. I didn't know it was sitting on his nightstand. That was strange because that phone seemed to be attached to some part of his body all the time. I arrived at mom's around noon on Saturday and Jacob was still not home.

We really started to worry because this wasn't right. He always called when he wasn't coming home to let us know where he was and when he would be home. We drove around looking in the park and around town asking kids if they had seen him and when. We even drove out of town thinking he may have gone someplace with someone that had a car. We spent lots of time calling the numbers on his cell phone thinking maybe one of them would know where he was.

On Saturday afternoon around 3 pm we called the Evansville Police Department. The officer came to the house and we filled out a missing persons report. The officer asked us questions and looked in his room. My husband told the officer that when he arrived on Friday evening Jacob's X-Box was on "Pause". To us that meant that someone had knocked on the door to drag him away from playing his game. When he was playing the video games nothing could drag him away from them. The Officer later returned with a copy of the report that went out to other police departments. Waiting for any news was a torture I never want to go through again.
We were talking about where he could be. My mom said something about the neighbor's sunroom door being unlocked. Jacob told her about it earlier that week because he had accidentally opened it. I thought what the heck I might as well check it out so I walked out of our sunroom door over to the neighbors who had recently moved. I opened the door and looked inside hoping that maybe Jacob had gone in and fell asleep. I didn't see anything.

I turned to walk back and met my husband coming out of the door. We saw Jacob at the same time. He was lying by the air conditioner behind my mom's apartment. We both yelled his name and ran over to him. My husband got there first and shook him. He turned to me and said," He is dead, go call the police". Jacob had a black plastic bag over his head. My husband ripped it open and walked away. I went to tell my mom that Jacob was dead and called 911. I told the police that I had filled out a missing persons report on him earlier and that we had found him dead outside my mom's apartment. When I saw him lying with that black plastic bag over his head my thought was that he had killed himself but I couldn't believe that he would do that. However I had heard earlier from his cousin that he was having some problems with some kids teasing him. It was really bothering him.

The police came to the house and started an investigation that would shock all of us in many ways. The officer told me something that I never thought I would hear about our son. The police officer told us that they thought Jacob was "huffing refrigerant". I had never heard of such a thing. I looked at the officer and told him straight out that someone have had to shown him how to do that because there was no way he would thought of that on his own. It had been a problem around Evansville. The officer knew there had been 3 different kids sent to the hospital because of the huffing of refrigerant. He told us that it does one of three things:
It will get you high as intended
It will freeze your lungs and send you to the hospital
It will KILL you

At that time the Rock County Detective came into the house and talked to the family including my brother and his wife. They asked us questions about Jacob such as what kind of a kid was he? When we last saw him? What time we last talked to him? I made it clear during that questioning that someone had to have shown him how to do that because " There is NO way" that he would have thought of that himself. They told us that they thought Jacob had laid there since sometime Friday.

On Sunday we received a phone call from a friend of Jacob's. She told me the names of two boys that she said had shown him this deadly high. I immediately called the Rock County Detective and informed him of this new development. They had to look for the boys but finally found them and talked to them. The two boys admitted that they did in fact show Jacob how to huff refrigerant. When the detective told me this I was shocked to think that someone would show others how to do something that could possibly kill them. The most shocking thing is that the detective told us that there was nothing they could do to the boys because they denied they were with him that day. We found out a few days later that one of the boys was caught showing a 13 year old girl how to huff refrigerant. These two boys are out showing other peoples children how to do this deadly thing and nothing is being done about it by our law enforcement.

Since Law enforcement isn't able or willing to protect our children, we as parents have to be their guardians. Please talk to your children; make sure they know just what refrigerant can do to them. Huffing anything can KILL you. Our family still doesn't believe that Jacob was alone that day. I will close this with something that a dear friend said at Jacob's funeral. This touched me so much because it was truly Jacob as you can see in his picture.

"Remember Jacob's Smile And Carry It With You In Your Heart".

Category Blog

Alliance for Consumer Education

Remember Jacob's Smile...

Posted November 10, 2009

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